A life defined by questions

What would you like to do?

Where would you like to go?

What makes you light up?

The questions someone can ask us, and that we can ask ourselves is endless.

Questions spark our imagination, get us thinking and hopefully acting.

Some questions however don’t help us. They can actually hurt us.

Such as weak questions like:

Why did you do that?

This question usually makes someone defensive. It often produces excuses and stories to justify an action or inaction.

What were you thinking?

This question usually implies that the person being asked wasn’t thinking. It rarely produces a satisfactory answer.

How could you?

Again, what can you say to this question? The question is accusatory in tone and no matter what the person being asked says it’s implied that whatever was done wasn’t good.

You know that these blogs are here to help you so let me share better questions to ask.

Rather than: 

Why did you do that?

Ask:

What do you want from these actions or words?

Rather than:

Why did you do that?

Ask:

Help me understand your goal with this action?

Rather than:

How could you?

Ask:

What did you want to accomplish?

Or even:

Did you accomplish what you set out to do?

What lies behind a question is the intent.

When you shift your intent to helping to understand or to finding solutions, you will rarely ask questions that put another on the spot.

This takes some practice so here’s a final question for you.

Are you ready to ask better questions?

Open for your thoughts and questions!

If you dig my writing/thoughts, forward this to a friend. New to it. Sign up here.

Feel like you may be missing something? Schedule a FREE exploratory session with me. It’s easy. Click here.

Blessings,
Shawna Schuh, CSP
Helping leaders evolve.  
Executive Coach, Speaker, Columnist & Author
President, Women in the Pet Industry Network
503-970-5774
www.WomenInThePetIndustry.com
www.ShawnaSchuh.com

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Copyright © 2020  www.ShawnaSchuh.com  |  www.WomenInThePetIndustry.com | All rights reserved.

Do you ever bark up the wrong tree?

The expression, “barking up the wrong tree” means pursuing a mistaken or misguided line of thought or course of action.

This makes me think of a dog barking under a tree at a squirrel who is actually in another tree laughing at the dog!

Many leaders have made this mistake. Focused on one thing while another thing of far greater importance was being overlooked. You probably know someone who had done this or does this.

The lesson is how to avoid barking up the wrong tree ourselves.

Here’s a way to make this happen less or not at all.

  1. Review your end goal often. This is something so easy to miss. From neglecting to review the goal of a meeting to a marketing campaign to the real goal of a sales call. Note: Getting the end sale is usually not the goal of your first meeting. Rather, the relationship is, and securing the next step in the sales process.
  2. Stop and take stock of what you are doing. If that dog under the wrong tree had stopped barking and looked up and around it might have realized it was wasting energy and effort on something that just wasn’t there.
  3. Alter the tactics. A dog can bark a long time and get nothing accomplished. Staying the course on a campaign or path that is not producing results is a lot of barking for nothing. Check-in and determine results, and then keep on or alter what you are doing.

If you dig my writing/thoughts, forward this to a friend. New to it. Sign up here.

Feel like you may be missing something? Schedule a FREE exploratory session with me. It’s easy. Click here.

Blessings,
Shawna Schuh, CSP
Helping leaders evolve.  
Executive Coach, Speaker, Columnist & Author
President, Women in the Pet Industry Network
503-970-5774
www.WomenInThePetIndustry.com
www.ShawnaSchuh.com

Follow us on: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Instagram  |  Pinterest  | LinkedIn

Copyright © 2020  www.ShawnaSchuh.com  |  www.WomenInThePetIndustry.com | All rights reserved.

Are you looking out for beauty?

Are you looking out for beauty?

Set your intention.

Ask yourself:

What makes something beautiful?

Can you see it now, and, if not, can you add something beautiful to your environment this week?

 

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A Favorite Mind-Setting Quote:

“For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear there to hear it. For every love, there is a heart there to receive it.”

~Ivan Panin

 

If you dig my writing/thoughts, forward this to a friend. New to it. Sign up here.

Feel like you may be missing something? Schedule a FREE exploratory session with me. It’s easy. Click here

Blessings,

Shawna

Shawna Schuh, CSP
Helping leaders evolve.  
Executive Coach, Speaker, Columnist & Author
President, Women in the Pet Industry Network
503-970-5774
www.WomenInThePetIndustry.com
www.ShawnaSchuh.com

Follow us on: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Instagram  |  Pinterest  | LinkedIn

Copyright © 2020  www.ShawnaSchuh.com  |  www.WomenInThePetIndustry.com | All rights reserved.

Are you hurting them twice?

Recently a very good friend refrained from telling me something and it hurt my feelings. I knew in the back of my mind she wasn’t being upfront about something, however, as we humans do, I let it fester.

When I finally asked a pointed question that brought out her untruth I followed with, “Why didn’t you tell me?” Her answer – “I didn’t want to hurt your feelings.” That hurt more than if she had simply said she didn’t want to go with me in the first place.

Are you doing that to people you love, or even customers?

I’ve been asking around to see how people handle it when they don’t want to tell a person something that may indeed hurt their feelings. The overwhelming response is that when it comes out (and it nearly always does) that someone held something back or even lied because they didn’t want “to hurt” someone, the hurt then hurts twice.

The first hurt happens when the other person holds back or omits something. It begs the question, “Am I untrustworthy? Or does my friend not trust me?”

The second hurt occurs when the omission is uncovered. And it nearly always is.

It could just be me, however, most of us can deal with things as they happen, and like the pets we love, be hurt or angry for a bit and then move on. Forgive and forget, right?

When it comes up, however, that someone we love and trust has held back information or their feelings because they “did not want to hurt us,” the mind starts to wonder — Who did they discuss that with? How did they come to that decision? What else are they hiding or keeping from me?

Most of us do not like to be made to look like a fool, or to appear foolish. If you’ve seen a long-haired dog given a summer shave, they slink off, and hide themselves until they shake it off and rebound.

Humans are more complicated. We sometimes keep those hurts buried deeply inside. Recovery is slow, or not happening at all because we can’t decipher why someone who loves us didn’t love us enough to simply say what they were feeling.

I don’t have the remedy. I am still reeling from this good friend, and realizing that she has done this before.

So how do we learn from this?

Are you doing this to others? And if so, are you aware that it’s hurtful not only once, but twice?

If a customer asks you a pointed question, or a friend wants a favor and you don’t want to answer or go, here are a couple of ideas to save your relationships.

  1. Stop and take a breath. The “ask” may be too big or something not in your wheelhouse and that’s okay. Breathe and ask your heart. “Who do I want to be in this situation?”
  2. Ask additional questions like, “If I don’t go, is there someone else you can ask?” Or “Help me understand what you are trying to accomplish?”  Sometimes what they are asking isn’t really what they need or want.
  3. Tell them what’s true for you. It would have been far superior to hear, “This isn’t good timing for me and I know you can do it alone” rather than getting a made up story about a family commitment that was false.

I wish I was as good as the animals I love, who seem to be judge-less, grudge-less and accepting.

Instead I am still hurting from the untruth. The good news, (and there is nearly always some good in everything) is that I can be a better friend myself. Maybe I ask too much of those that love me?

From this day forward, I commit to using truth (in gracious and loving ways) with everyone I know, acting from compassion, and asking a lot more questions.

Is this a good goal for you too?

Do you have a story like mine? Please email me and share it. It’s nice to know we’re in this crazy wonderful life journey together.

If you dig my writing/thoughts, forward this to a friend. New to it. Sign up here.

Feel like you may be missing something? Schedule a FREE exploratory session with me. It’s easy. Click here.

Blessings,
Shawna Schuh, CSP
Helping leaders evolve.  
Executive Coach, Speaker, Columnist & Author
President, Women in the Pet Industry Network
503-970-5774
www.WomenInThePetIndustry.com
www.ShawnaSchuh.com

Follow us on: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Instagram  |  Pinterest  | LinkedIn

Copyright © 2020  www.ShawnaSchuh.com  |  www.WomenInThePetIndustry.com | All rights reserved.

Are you playing it too safe?

Are you playing it too safe?

Set your intention.

Ask yourself:

Is it really always better to be safe than sorry?

Are you playing something too safe and how can you think about it differently?

 

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A Favorite Mind-Setting Quote:

“I am still in the process of self-discovery. It’s better to explore life and make mistakes than to play it safe. Mistakes are part of the dues one pays for a full life.”

~Sophia Loren

 

If you dig my writing/thoughts, forward this to a friend. New to it. Sign up here.

Feel like you may be missing something? Schedule a FREE exploratory session with me. It’s easy. Click here

Blessings,

Shawna

Shawna Schuh, CSP
Helping leaders evolve.  
Executive Coach, Speaker, Columnist & Author
President, Women in the Pet Industry Network
503-970-5774
www.WomenInThePetIndustry.com
www.ShawnaSchuh.com

Follow us on: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Instagram  |  Pinterest  | LinkedIn

Copyright © 2020  www.ShawnaSchuh.com  |  www.WomenInThePetIndustry.com | All rights reserved.